I am grateful of the fact that I can work from home and decide with a bit more control than is the norm what I do with myself. That is a long way of saying I threw up Tuesday night so only took a half day at work.
In the end I would have loved taking the whole day off, but payroll was due and I didn’t want any of my coworkers to be up a shit creek without a paddle because I wasn’t able to get my necessary documents in. I’m grateful I could get some hours in but I’m also grateful I had time to rest and relax with my family.
Marie had the day off, too, and Amelia is a toddler so she does jack diddly most of the times. We made a point to all take a nap together as a family. We’ve co-slept with Amelia since she was born. And for a while she had been sleeping in her own bed. But ever since the second shooting at our complex Marie feels safer when Amelia sleeps with us at night. I can’t flaw that logic. In the end there will probably come a day where Amelia chooses to sleep in her own bed (or simply gets too big to fit into ours) and I will not be sad, but the melancholy of age, growth, and constant change will force me to remember my daughter grows up regardless of whether or not I want her to.
For now I will take these moments and hold them close to me as a blanket warm from the dryer. I will rest, love, and grow. Who knows what’s it store for tomorrow?
Love you Amelia, Marie, sis, mom, dad, kitty