3-3-21
Sometimes there is a moment in the evening when I have to make a choice between sacrificing time for sleep or vice versa. I think I’ve mentioned it before but I have a bad habit of trying to squeeze the juice out of every day, usually by accepting the fact the next morning will be sort of a drag. I do it because I’m afraid I’ll miss out on something, I think.
Or, beyond that, I think I convince myself that there will be something to miss out on, so I had better stay just to be safe instead of sorry. It’s this gripping determination in me that staying up will fill the void left there by a system that values me for money instead of the reasons I stay up late. If that makes sense.
Like I’d rather know I have the time the next day to explore what makes me happy so I can focus on resting and recovering. I would like to know that I won’t be obligated to sit at a desk for 8 hours doing paperwork that is truly benign in the grand scope of the cosmos just so I can have enough money to get 1-3 hours to myself each night.
So much of our time is taken by working and then working to survive and then resting to work again. It’s a cycle that keeps us in the place we are so there’s no challenge to the status quo. It’s a cycle that forces us to sacrifice our own needs (rest, relaxation, happiness, etc) so we fulfill one of the other. I sacrifice rest for relaxation, and I’m sure you do something similar. But imagine what it would be like to not have to worry. Just imagine.
Love you Amelia, kitty, Marie, mom, dad, sis
-E.B.
Ed Boy 