Nicer to Myself

1-23-22

Really fell back into my old game hard. Been investing tons of passive hours in it and I truly feel clear headed again. I think that could be for multiple reasons.

One of which is I have been smoking a lot less. In the past I used to worry about my smoking habits but I think I’ve got it under control. I usually just take a small hit, no more than two, in the later evening to help me unwind. I think I’ve also just given myself the space to accept that I’m not perfect and don’t have to be. I can enjoy a game and give myself the space to let it take a part of my life up. That’s up to me to give.

Beyond that I had someone reach out regarding freelance work and writing a plot game synopsis. It didn’t work out in the end. They were a little shady from the start—wouldn’t agree to a word count—but I appreciated the excitement from my first client. Plus, I got a taste of what actually writing and planning for a client was like. Going into the next offer I’ll be able to ask the client for a definitive word count before I start, or to purchase a package. This way I don’t work without pay.

I’m glad I’m trying something new, and I’m glad I’m giving myself the respect to fail. I’m glad I’m being nicer to myself.

-E.B.

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