2/13/26
It is my mother’s birthday today. We texted a bit, and we are planning on FaceTiming tomorrow. Today was a busy day and it felt like it would never end.
It’s been more than twenty-four hours since I’ve smoked tobacco. I’d like to say it’s been more than twenty-four hours since I’ve smoked anything, but I tried to take a hit from my weed pen twice—once before cooking dinner, and again about fifteen minutes ago. Sadly, (or maybe luckily), it did not do anything. Well, it tasted like vaping a battery, so I suppose it did something—just not what I wanted it to do.
I think I’d also like to say I’m proud of myself, and maybe it’s ok to let that be true, but I don’t know if I am. I’m not disappointed in myself. For the first time in a few months I went on a jog on my lunch break; Almost 1.3 miles in a little under twelve minutes. Not bad for a few months off!
Emerson convinced Marie to reach out to her parents and see if they would watch him for the day. They didn’t need to since I was home, but I know they really miss having the kids around all the time. Still, it was nice having the day to myself. It was probably the best thing while my mind decompressed from its unfamiliar sobriety.
I took about a week long break from smoking in late November, I think. That was when we were still living with Marie’s parents and they went to visit Marie’s sister in Florida. The moment they got back I started back up on the pen and progressively began to smoke more black & milds. I would hit the pen throughout the day, and usually have a smoke at night, so there was a perpetual non-sobriety for a while.
I am glad to say I was able to work through the cravings. Now it is just a matter of letting this be my new normal. It will happen day-by-day. And I may have the occasional smoke. But I’m really shooting for seven days to start.
My bookshelves are back up, and I have been able to pull out my books. I am determined to read more this year. We shall see.
We shall see, my family,
- E.B.
Ed Boy 