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$50,000 Dollar Bill

3-28-21

I realized today that I got the stimulus payment back on the 17th. I should check my bank account more often. Since I’ve been working remotely I don’t spend as much, or when I do it’s on a digital video game and I get all those receipts.

Part of me really wants to buy a new Xbox even though I definitely don’t need one. Realistically it’s only to be able to play apex legends with Marie without have to deal with the lag on the switch. Typing this I realize it’s such a silly, trivial, privileged issue to have, but then I rationalize it with the knowledge that it’s my money and I can do what I want with it.

Each month I contribute my share to our rent and bills, make sure we have the money for groceries, and deal with anything else. I pay like $435 a month for my student loans and will be doing so until 2040 which is fucking crippling. Altogether, by the time I’ll pay my student loans off, I’ll have paid double what the original loan amount was. That’s fucking criminal. Such bullshit.

They’re private loans, too, so at the moment they wouldn’t be forgiven. Here’s hoping I find a $50,000 dollar bill on the ground to fucking bury that capitalist rot into the ground.

Secretly I want a gaming computer, but that stresses me out, too. I don’t want to buy one, but building one sounds daunting. However, I did some research and if I take my time it’s certainly something I can wrap my head around. In the grand scheme of things I don’t necessarily need it to survive, but I guess if I want to spend some money on myself I’d at least like to be able to play Valheim.

Love you Marie, Amelia, mom, dad, sis, kitty
-E.B.

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