Internalized

6-2-21

Started working out again. I don’t necessarily know why other than self image issues. It’s not bad because I don’t starve myself or hurt myself with exercise. In the end, though, I wish my body was enough no matter what it looked or felt like. I’m not unhealthy by a few definitions. It’s just a lingering self doubt that comes from my childhood. No one is mean to me about my body except for me, and even then I’m not all that cruel. I love me and who I am, but I also want something else. Maybe I want to say I can do something when in reality I want that knowledge internalized.

-E.B.