On Purpose

7-22-21

Really fucked today away. Felt really despondent about work so slept in late and then did what I could. Played with Amelia a lot during the day which was nice. Technically got paid to hang out with my daughter. Now that’s the way to live. Have been fighting with myself lately. Mainly, trying to be more patient. Noticed lately that I’m too short with Amelia. She deserves patience, time, and car. Not a grumpy, 25 year old man dealing with their own personal anxieties. I get so scared that I’ll be a bad dad that I fulfill the reality before it becomes a disappointment. “Worried about hurting someone accidentally?” My brain asks. “Not a worry. Let’s just do it on purpose to avoid any confusion.”

-E.B.

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