Been extra grumpy lately since I cut out smoking. Not tyrannical, just crotchety. Shorter patience span, more frustration in my voice, a mental feeling as if I am imploding while simultaneously disappointing and pushing everyone around me away.
I don’t love the feeling, but when the cloud passes things are a lot clearer. My brain feels a little less heavy, I feel more awake, and my attitude settles into something I very much like. I don’t feel bad about smoking in the way I did when I was younger. I don’t smoke a lot. Probably about .5g of marijuana and maybe 1/4 of a cigarillo altogether. But I don’t want to use that as an excuse to continue on/smoke more.
We’ll see how long I’m off the horse this time around. Or on it. Is the metaphor of falling off the horse a sign that you’ve fallen into good or bad? Probably not the greatest to fall anywhere, I suppose…
One thought on “Falling Off”
Did you get intense dreams after quitting? Anyway, great on you for removing things that don’t serve you from your life. Wishing you all the best in this self-improvement journey!