9-2-21
Getting lost in the days again. Sometimes it’s a blessing since they pass by so quick, but lately I’ve been feeling lost and stuck at the same time. Sinking into something familiar yet unknown. It’s not an anxiety pit like I get in my chest. More like fever sweats you’re not quite friends with yet. More like a long term friend who fell out of reach coming back with all too recognizable patterns. My time with Amelia has dropped significantly since she’s gotten into daycare and while I’m overjoyed she likes it and is learning I can’t help but feel I took our time for granted. To my defense, though, what else was I supposed to do when I barely left my apartment for 15 months? When I was scared to expose my daughter for fear of contagion? In the end I wish things could be easier so my love wasn’t so far away.
-E.B.