Writing about yesterday can be hard because if I wait too long I want to write about the stress of today. I will do that anyway because it’s my blog so fuck it.
Money is tight again. Both Marie and I are on leave to care for our newborn through the state. We applied for the paid family leave. Marie applied months ago – about 4 weeks before the baby was born. No word from the state and no sign of any of that money.
I got some notice quicker with my application, but that’s still not enough. With gas going up and me staying home for leave it really hit us hard. And we saw our funds incorrectly thinking that a bill had been paid when it hadn’t.
I am going to have to do the very hard thing of asking my family for money that I don’t know when we’ll pay back. I’d pay it back when the leave money comes in, but then we’ll have to catch up on bills in the present while our funds from work slowly trickle back in.
A year ago this would crush me. I would be so scared. But I think I have been preparing for this moment for a while. At least I have been helping myself compensate and allow space for stress. One way or another I think we will be ok. I sure hope so, at least.