On the way home I stopped at a nearby liquor store & bought a watermelon 4loko. I drank it while Marie ate & took pain medication. We laughed & talked on the way to get Amelia, but on the way home we started arguing which eventually led to a big fight. At one point I was about to leave but instead threw my keys on the floor and went & sobbed in the bedroom.
Marie came in & said her piece, and when I returned to the kitchen & finished dinner I noticed Marie had hung my keys up. There was still a tension between us so she went & changed Amelia while talking to her parents.
I walked across the street to get a black & mild & ice cream. I am becoming a semi-regular so the person at the register remembered. When I walked in he went “black & mild?” to which I responded “wine, wood tip, please.” His name is Nicky. We introduced ourselves.
Outside I sat on a big rock in front of a Jack in the Box & smoked. I was so mad I didn’t notice the cold. During my rage my sister called and we talked for 95 minutes. Marie showered with Amelia. Marie let me comb & dry her long, beautiful black hair. It doesn’t change the past but it helps create a pleasant present.
I think I will not drink again for a while, even if I really, really want to.
I love my daughter, mom, dad, sister, & wife like a moth to flame.