As I write this I stand awkwardly in the vacant lobby of an urgent care facility here on the edges of the city. My right eye has a sty or something and it got worse. Marie really insisted I come out tonight so I did because I love her. And also because it hurts to blink so she’s not wrong.
I’m not a big fan of the doctors. I don’t think I’ve gotten a physical in like six years. I get my flu shots but I don’t like it. It also doesn’t make me feel good that I don’t have insurance. I don’t like to admit it. Since I got a raise at work a bit ago I started making too much to qualify me for medi-cal so I had to unenroll. Only the issue now is my work insurance is way too expensive for both Amelia and me (we’re on our own plan apart from Marie), and the state only covers so much.
So, in the end, I’ll need to start paying an extra $380 a month to insure the both of us. But that’s on top of my $480/month student loan payments, plus about an additional $1700/month for my share of rent, utilities, and various other expenditures. The new apartment we moved into is definitely more a month than the last, but we budgeted. It’s just the fact that Im making more money than I ever have and even that’s not enough to get me health insurance.
It scares me. Less for myself and more for Amelia. I want to provide for her and make sure she’s safe but that doesn’t always happen when there’s more value on the value itself than whatever purpose the object of value provides.
I’m sitting on one of those doctor tables covered in paper. I am the only patient at this facility which does not surprise me. The appointment went surprisingly quick which doesn’t always fill me with much joy. The physician who saw to me had diamond stud earrings, a high school class ring with an inset amethyst on one hand and a gold ring that looked like a spider on the other. His skin was pink, he breathed hard, and I could feel him touching my leg with his ever so slightly as he examined my eye.
I have to go pick up ointment for my eye. I do not like having eye issues. Blah.
Feeling grumpy but the love remains,