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Big Issue


I caught Marie crying in the bathroom last night after I got in from the patio. When I asked her about it she didn’t want to talk, and this morning has been kind of cold and distant. I was worried it was something I did without realizing (because that’s how my anxiety manifests) but she came home at lunch and talked a bit. She’s upset about our extended families. Apparently her mom said something about “why would I want to be with you when you don’t want me,” in reference to something Marie might have said.

I think her parents are ungrateful. They complain that we never go over, and that we never invite them over. We don’t invite them over, but they get to see Amelia like 2-3 times a month. My parents haven’t seen any of us in over two years. Marie’s mom also complains saying that Marie is mean to them, and Marie agrees.

But the issue is her parents constantly guilt her into feeling certain ways so they get what they want. Marie told me sometimes she holds her tongue about her true feelings regarding us going over so often. They live an hour and a half away and whenever we go we don’t do shit because they live in a relatively small town. Houses and places to eat type locale. It’s frustrating because I like my home. I like my apartment because it’s where I live. I’d be fine if we did long day trips, but they are always insistent we spend the night, and I don’t want to sleep in a full sized mattress when I have my own bed.

We also have a cat! I don’t like leaving our cat alone overnight because they get lonely. I don’t know. This is one of the big issues between Marie and I: her family wants to be around us constantly, but I don’t, because I think it’s boring, they don’t really talk to me, and I think my parents are envious. We don’t always tell my parents when we go down, but then I feel bad because we can’t call, but I don’t call when we’re home, so it’s like what’s the point in worrying?

At the end of the day I wish her parents would let us live our lives how we want to without guilting us into being with them. Her mom always talks about how she’s going to die soon and she’s not even 60. I know they know the struggle and sadness of not being able to see family, so I understand why they want to see Amelia. It’s just I wish they were grateful for it without back handedly saying they want more. Amelia has seen her grandparents more than I’ve seen any of mine in my entire life.

I wish they had some fucking perspective.



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