Stayed home again because I’m still sick. It’s not a serious illness, I just don’t want to spread it to my coworkers. All things considered I’m pretty certain I got it from work since my asshole boss nigh forced me back in there. I have reached the conclusion that I want to leave my job.
It’s not the work, and it’s not (entirely) the people. More so it is a mixture of being overworked, over burdened, and too relied upon. I have been sick the past two days and the past two days I have still clocked in to work because I know if I don’t I will be absolutely slammed with backlog work. I love being a fulcrum in a company. I love being someone who is essential to the process. But in the end I find it astounding that if one person (me) is gone then the entire operations for our office stops. Just comes to a complete halt.
At this point I am doing 6-7x more work than when I was hired, but by pay does not reflect that. The employees I manage got a much needed raise, but I am a little bitter now because they all will soon be making more money than me. I am not traditional; I do not think simply because I’m the manager I deserve more pay. But in the grand scheme of things all of our work is linked, so I would at least like to be paid the same amount.
I wish to relax and recover but the nature of my work, and capitalism at large, say that since I am not an ultra billionaire my life is expendable for this grinding, debilitating system.