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Before the Sun

2-8-21

I have been waking up feeling rested before the sun rises. That is an unusual feeling for me. Over the past few months Marie and I got into a habit of getting Amelia to bed around 9:00-10:00pm our time and then we’d stay up until like 2:00am. Then I’d wake up at 7:50am and start work at 8:00am.

Lately I’ve been falling asleep way earlier. In all honesty I’ve been falling asleep with Amelia. She sleeps in our bed since the shootings happened back in December so I am at least falling asleep in my own bed. It’s not too bad. Sometimes Marie will wake me up and then I will immediately go grab a snack, eat it, then fall back asleep. But I’ve been snacking less lately, too, which is good since I’ve been trying to watch what I eat just a little more.

Normally I stay awake as late as I can so I can squeeze every moment out of the day that I can. But when I lay Amelia down and then cuddle up with her to help her relax I get so cozy that it doesn’t even matter what I have and haven’t done.

I think one of the biggest helps is we moved the big tv (read: only tv we use) into our bedroom. That sounds counterproductive but since it’s in the bedroom we can’t play on it or watch anything when Amelia goes to sleep. Therefore, it’s been a very effective tool in helping get us to sleep.

All-in-all it’s interesting to rewrite a sleep narrative because often you don’t have control because you realistically can only gauge your bodies needs based on what your brain tells you. And even though it sounds crazy sometimes your brain takes over and says “we need sleep, not excitement.” What are you supposed to do, say no? I don’t think my brain would be very pleased with that.

With love to you, the reader, my wife, daughter, dad, mom, sister, kitty
-E.B.

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