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Sliding Backwards

4-7-21

Work has been going smoothly. I feel caught up on everything which is an unusual feeling. Normally I’m always feeling a few steps behind, but today has been the first time in a while I feel on top of things.

On the other hand, Marie and I are behind on our recording schedule, and I’ve been falling back on some other creative projects. It’s funny to me how my professional lives seem at ends. Whenever I take the time to stay on top of my specialty endeavors I feel like my actual professional endeavors fall to the side and vice versa. I don’t think it’s intentional, just the natural shift between one source of energy and the other.

I don’t really derive joy from work, but there is a sense of accomplishment that comes from completing a task in an effective way. I’m good at my job, and because I’m good it feels easy at times. But I have my office to thank for that. We all work as a team and when someone does their job right it makes all the other jobs easier to do, and with a positive cycle like that the work itself becomes easier to manage.

So why does it slack when I’m focused on other stuff? I’ve been at this job for almost 2 years which will be my longest job to date. I’m not an absolute expert on it, but I’d never tell my boss that because they’d only rationalize it to pay me less.

I think it slacks because I know that, if I slide too far, I’ll only need to put a bit more effort than normal to catch up. Whereas with creative projects if I start to slip I end up falling and then I have to go through the energy of recovering, resuming, and consisting, rather than just catching up.

Falling is never so bad, though. It lets me see where I’ve been and helps set a new point to grow to.

Love you mom, dad, Amelia, Marie, sis, kitty
-E.B.

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