All things considered I am happy and content with my life. However, the specter of returning to work looming over my shoulder sucks.
I think it’s been affecting my mood a bit. This is an extension of money affecting my mood, though, which I try to avoid. The situation we face is not dire – just requires a tight belt, some patience, and a course correction. I am glad to be weathering this with Marie.
I think the issue lays in the fact that I am at a point in my job where it is what it is, but it is so obvious what it isn’t. To put it plainly I wouldn’t want to spend my whole life at this job but even if I did it wouldn’t be the worst thing I could be doing with my time.
Getting in my head I have to be someone soon, but I think that’s because I have another mouth to feed. That’s good. That’s exciting. Wanting to be more for someone you care for (so you can secretly be better for yourself) is an interesting and warped method of self care.
So be it.