I got Marie to work a little late today and I felt bad about it the rest of the afternoon. The feelings faded after I finally ate, and subsided after I took a nap with Amelia. Staying up until 4:00am does not really stabilize my emotions. It’s fun to suck out every moment of the day, but it leaves me feeling so drained. Caffeine doesn’t work so I can’t jumpstart the motor. It’s all running off of fumes. There is a hollowness inside me from a year of isolated routine and only now am I starting to chip away at the insulation.