Played some games online with a friend from work last night then spiraled in the bathroom before bed. Technically had a hypothetical conversation where I yelled at my boss, but that’s about the norm.
Marie called me at 11:30am to tell me Amelia had thrown up at school and needed to be picked up. I feel bad that she’s sick but extremely overjoyed to not be at the office. There are a lot of mosquitos and I’ve gotten bit at least five times and I hate it. I hate my boss and I hate having to come to the office. It’s so frustrating because I like the work and I like the people.
My yearly review should be up soon and I am resolved to tell my boss straight to his face that I am unhappy and don’t like the position I’m in. That I don’t like having the entire operations department balanced on my shoulders to the point where if I let it fall then other people get fucked over. Deep down I am hopeful it changes something but I am ultimately doubtful. If things haven’t changed by now I don’t think they ever will and at that same time I find it frustrating to have to fight for a livable wage. Or rather, I think it’s bullshit my boss is comfortable exploiting workers when he sits on his ass in an apartment in the middle of one of the most expensive cities in the world.
These words have been said and I have been here before. The time to frustration with this job grows shorter and shorter by the day to the point where the moment I cross the threshold I am exhausted. What a life!