2/9/20 Sundays are boxes with bows: mysteries glammed up to entice a willing explorer to take a chance. True, the box is not wrapped, just bowed. So maybe the cardboard exterior isn’t the prettiest, but the pow—a twist and turn of pink & purple ribbon—makes any beige cube rather intriguing.
2/8/20 We went to the Oakland Zoo today. Marie’s godsister works there, so when Marie mentioned going this weekend she said “I got you guys,” and she did got us. She got us in for free, helped us get a stroller for free, got us a jump in line, free lunch, a private room (technicallyContinue reading “Zoo”
2/7/20 Marie lost her engagement ring. Technically she has (as of my writing this) lost two. I bought her two rings—an engagement, and a replacement for an older one—when I went out. She took them off last night to shower and forgot to put them on. When I awoke the silver one (the non-engagement ring)Continue reading “Rings”
2/6/20 I awake to the sound of my daughter crying. In the dark I stumble to her room, groping with my feet for any toys on the ground. (Sorry for making you read the words “groping with my feet” in that order. Slip of the tongue (or hand in this instance)). She reaches for me,Continue reading “Early Bedtime”
2/5/20 I had a bad dream last night. I was all over the place. Men were falling from the sky, crouched, with long, sharp fingers. They would kill you immediately if you questioned it. If you didn’t say anything then were just there. Marie said it was time for her to join them.
2/4/20 Tonight I write by candlelight. The flickering light is kind of fucking with my eyes, but there’s a sense of wonder. Each line, my pen recedes from the glow only to slowly, gracefully dance toward it. The light swallows my words. In the end they will burn as the wick, curling in slow, singedContinue reading “My Candle Flickers”
2/3/20 During the simple cadence of the evening I find peace in the discordance. Amelia’s shrieks—refusal to brush her pearly whites—mixed with the heater’s hum fills me with a simple luxury: homeliness. I know the walls of our apartment don’t shine gold. I know the structure of our abode isn’t built upon sapphire stones orContinue reading “Universal Blue”
2/2/20 Does the cycle end or begin on Sunday? It’s technically part of the weekend and is, indeed, “the week’s end.” But on a standard calendar Sunday begins at the start of the week. Perhaps it is at the beginning of the week because, in Christianity at least, it is a holy day. It’s theContinue reading “Sunday Cycle”
2/1/20 I’m writing in bed again. I figure I can get out from behind my desk once in a while. You know—really explore the countryside with my diary. All I want is to snack snack snack snack snack. My teeth are in a real chompy mood. I’ve had some snacks here and there.
1/31/20 It is very late/very early when I write this. Alexander, our cat, wouldn’t shut the fuck up but I am starting to think he knew I hadn’t written my diary yet. You know what they say: a dog is human’s best friend, & a cat is human’s best frenemy. I love my cat, yetContinue reading “Nightlight”
1/30/20 I did it! I went and did stand up at a place off broadway & 18th. I’ve been there before but tonight went really well! I got pretty solid laughs. It was soul fulfilling. An odd thing did happen: I tried to join in a group of people I kind of knew outside, butContinue reading “Stood Up”
1/29/20 I wonder if there’ll ever be a day where I won’t know what to write. When I think about it I know the truth of the matter is that that will be okey dokey. I meant to write ok but put an “e” after the “k” and was too lazy to scratch it outContinue reading “Okey-Dokey”
1/28/20 Today was a Tuesday. By far and away the oddest and least inspiring day of the week is Tuesday. Not to say Tuesday’s are bad days. Indeed, Tuesday nights are rather spectacular. Because it’s closer to Wednesday than it is to Monday, and because the universe gets silly on Tuesday nights.
1/27/20 Where to even begin. When nothing seems to happen maybe it’s a sign that everything is.
1/26/20 Sometimes I wonder what I’ll actually remember from a day. At times I feel my emotions are eclipsed by an inescapable feeling of emptiness; that my actions are grains of sand on a desert planet. But with that I am reminded it only takes one more straw to break a back; it only takesContinue reading “Simplicity”
1/25/20 Today was a lovely day. I woke up early, went back to sleep, and enjoyed waking up slow. I awoke in a way that felt natural. Black mold (non-toxic) grows in our bathroom because even though we pay $1400/month for rent our landlords can’t bother to install a fan to help with humidity. IContinue reading “Calliope”
1/24/20 With very little regret I am here to tell you I drank again tonight. 750mL of tequila was only $11.00 at Safeway so I figured I might as well kill myself a little quicker. It is 9:07pm right now and I have consumed at least 3 tequila sunrises. That’s a lot of day. IContinue reading “1-24-20”
1/23/20 On the way home I stopped at a nearby liquor store & bought a watermelon 4loko. I drank it while Marie ate & took pain medication. We laughed & talked on the way to get Amelia, but on the way home we started arguing which eventually led to a big fight. At one pointContinue reading “1-23-20”
1/22/20 I am writing early tonight (now vs. later). When I got home the apartment smelled like shit litter. I hate the smell. It is pervading. I cleaned Alexander’s litter box, took some trash out, brushed my teeth, walked to the store for new, superior cat litter, and walked home.
1/21/20 Amelia & Marie woke up with me this morning. It was the earliest I’ve gotten up in weeks. I was late to work again but that’s because I dropped Amelia off at school. She is older so she got to go to a new class. Marie’s face/tooth did not hurt as much today. ThatContinue reading “1-21-20”